I have a neighbor who I HATE. Granted, I only know two of my many neighbors (who both just happen to be on either side of our house), and only one I have actually spoken to. It's the one I have never spoken to that I hate. First of all, I know hate is a strong word. And in the beginning I was a little miffed at this family. First of all, they only talk to and acknowledge Big Man. But whenever they see me they will literally look right through me and ignore me. Just the other day they had a bunch of gardeners out redoing their front lawn and the gardeners smiled and said hello to me, which I happily reciprocated. At the time of this happy greeting/exchange, the Fat Ass Matron Neighbor was standing literally 5 feet from me and pretended I wasn't even there. Your freaking gardener was saying hello to me and yet I'm not even worth acknowledging. But that same evening as Big Man came home from work, she had a whole conversation with him about her gardening plans and blah blah blah. She's a bitch, plain and simple. Plus she had the nerve to tell our gardener not to park in front of her house. He has been working at our house for the past 16+ years and had always parked there since it was easier for him to roll out the equipment. But as soon as she moved her Fat Ass in some pseudo faded mom jeans next door, suddenly the street in front of her house is private property. She even had the nerve to tell our Pool Guy to park somewhere else. Thanks a lot bitch, yet you have your loser friends park in front of our house 4 days out of the week. Sometimes I'm tempted to spray those cars with shaving cream, but I don't because Big Man would have a conniption if I ever did do anything like that.
She's like George Jefferson in that she used to live in a crappier house and they moved into this house last year, so suddenly she's moving on up to a deluxe house in Satellite Village. I did my reconnaissance on her, and they literally lived a couple of miles away and decided to upgrade their dwelling last year. My Columbia MBA isn't going to waste here, I'll use whatever I have to find information on my enemies and entertain me at the same time. So these people have a grandiose idea that they are just better than everyone else. So good in fact, they don't even have to carry their own dog poop.
So for a few mornings when I went out to drive Little Man to school, I noticed these little black bags of dog poop on our front lawn. It bothered me since I suspected it was Fat Ass, but I didn't have any proof. Than one morning as I was getting Little Miss out of bed and opening her shades, I see Fat Ass and her dog walking in front of our house. First of all, is there a leash law in CA? Because her dumass dog was without a leash. And he was running all over our lawn and our other neighbor's lawn. Than he decided to squat down and take a shit. This is the same lawn that Little Man and his friends would roll down for kicks. That just grossed me out and you can bet I put a stop to rolling of any kind on the front lawn. So Fat Ass's dog takes a shit, she bags it and than TOSSES it back on the lawn. She did this again when the dog took another shit at the next house down. I'm standing there flabbergasted and totally disgusted. You're too good to carry your dog's shit? So you just leave it there? Is there a law against that? What about some HOA rule? I don't care if you come back after your walk (which isn't working since that ass is as fat as it was a year ago) and pick it up. That is just disgusting and oh so lazy!! Seriously, you can't even carry it with you? You just leave bags of dog shit on everyone's front lawn like a trail of breadcrumbs? Are you so stupid you don't know how to find your way home? I swear, this just made me HATE her. I'm debating if I should take some pictures or video and submit them to the HOA. But I would have to take them from another angle, otherwise Fat Ass would know it was our house. But I'll bide my time. If anything, my time here makes me think of ways to exact revenge and my pound of flesh.
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